An Excellent Guide When Scheduling An Appointment...

With a Dominatrix, an FBSM provider and even me! from Scarlet Amor! Be sure to watch her video, it is hilarious !

Note from me: Here is how I prefer you contact me...Text Me !! Then be nice and say something like "Hello Kiley, my name is Tom (or Dick, or Harry, you get it ;) ). I would like to schedule some time with you today at 2:00 PM (or tomorrow at 10 AM, or whenever) Simple, quick, no muss, no fuss !! Remember, though, I ignore my phone when I have company, or if I am listening to a lecture or some such, so if I can't get back with you within an hour or so, you probably won't hear back from me. Also, you all know I am an equal opportunity perv and there is zero judgment in my house, so if you are a bigger guy (over 275) please let me know in advance. I have a perfectly suitable table I use for sessions and although it is rated for 600 pounds static weight, I get a little nervous when my big boys are on it, so I have other arrangements for you guys, OK?

Now back to Scarlet's rules !!

The rules are pretty simple:

1. ALWAYS READ THE AD BEFORE YOU CALL.
Straight up, number one rule, that so many men miss, is READ THE F’N AD. Follow the links if she has them. Check out her reviews. Stop staring at her ass. Read the content! These girls put a lot of work into the copy. Remember her name when you call. If you really want to be charming, somehow slip some of the text from her ad into your conversation. “I look forward to receiving some of your ‘ravishing delights’ this evening, Miss Scarlet.” Like sugar sprinkled on top of the cherry, baby.

2. DO YOUR RESEARCH.
Most likely her ad is in code filled in with a bunch of gibberish poetic fluff that never gets to the point. Use your private investigator skills and dig deeper. Is it listed under “Escorts” or “Bodyrubs” or “Tantra” or “BDSM”? Does it say “No FS or mutual”? Any mention of “Prostate” or “Goddess Worship” or “FBSM ++”. Get on google and break the code. Know what you are getting into BEFORE you call.

3. DON’T ASK QUESTIONS.
Once you get on the phone all you do is politely BOOK THE SESSION. Don’t ask risque, crude, demanding or revealing questions. Due to legalities, if she is SMART, she won’t answer them. This is a good sign. Sure, ask her about the weather or if she had a good holiday, this is YOUR chance to vibe her out too, but never get too personal. Be professional, kind and sweet. Oh, and guess what, don’t ask her anything once you arrive at her place either. Just give her your biggest smile, slip those greenbacks onto her altar, and let her take the lead.

4. SCHEDULE IN ADVANCE.
What, you thought that if you called at 12:34am after getting out of the bar that she is waiting in her healing sanctuary, fully shaved and showered, dressed in lingerie and nibbling on strawberries waiting for your beckon call? Dakini’s have lives too, bro. I know the horny hits ya at a certain hour and you finally get the nerve to call her, but give her at least a few hours notice, buddy. Even better, a day. And for Christ’s sake, LEAVE A MESSAGE on her voicemail. Stop being a pussy. Book in advance.

5. SCREENING.
Some girls will just go off your vibe on the phone (so be nice!). Others will ask for your full name and double check your ID when you arrive. Some require full on work verification, websites, LinkedIn and Facebook profiles along with photo ID, business card and DNA sample. Or she may ask for another provider’s name and number who can verify your good standing, although that may take days. Just say yes. It is HIGHLY unlikely that SHE is a cop OR will call your wife. TRUST. If you see her a second time, you will never have to go through the grilling screening process again.

6. NEVER BARGAIN.
80% of the time her price is listed on her ad. If you’ve read it over thrice and still don’t see a requested quantity, or “roses”, then you may kindly ask her the fee for her services over the phone. NO, sex workers do NOT take credit cards or personal checks, stupid. Go to the ATM ahead of time and take out extra for a tip. NEVER try to talk her down once you arrive. In fact, never mention the money at all. Just drop it on the altar. Girls always remember big tippers. They black list bargainers and cheap skates.

7. BE A GENTLEMAN.
Kind. Considerate. Thoughtful. Polite. Relaxed. Confident. Suave. Complimentary. Generous. Peaceful. Nurturing. Charismatic. Charming. Calm. Presumingly Handsome. Dapper. Clean Shaven. With your boxer shorts freshly pressed and pocket watch wound upon arrival. Be a gentleman. Please, for the sake of Yum, DO NOT be a douche bag.

8. NO EXPECTATIONS.
Even if you’ve “done this sort of thing before”, never make assumptions or come into the conversation with heavy expectations. Every girl is different. She may use the same lingo as one girl but offer something totally different. She may be even more smoking hot than her photos in person, or (dear lord I hope this never happens to you) an old hag that stole her sixteen year olds sexting shots to put up on her ad. She may say Tantra on the phone but never even mention it during session, or give you a regular sensual massage that took you beyond the fifteen years you sat in ashram. Expect nothing and you will come out ahead.

And one more addition from me!  Please, please be clean, freshly showered if at all possible. You guys here in Arizona know the term "swamp ass"? Yep, as nasty as it sounds, and no lady is going to want to get too close to  that!! If you have to, ask if there is a shower available that you can use, and plan that extra time into the time you want to spend with your lady of choice. She will thank you for it, I promise :)

Hope to see you soon!